#i loved s3 i should rewatch

[constantlyquestioningg]

i need to rewatch azumanga daioh. core part of my childhood

[gregoryeddiesgoldchain]

barbara definitely could’ve apologized to ms inez

[alibrandi]

absolutely infuriating to me that people try to pretend that fargo s3 is the best. it’s not. it’s really not. nikki & wrench are by far the best part of it; and i think gloria is a decent, if underwhelming, protagonist; but besides those 3 characters, there’s a nonsense plot & antagonists with poorly thought out & over-explained yet boring motivations (which is a damn shame, because david thewlis can fucking act (see: landscapers)) and THEN the people that talk up s3 usually end up hating on s4, which was FUCKING PHENOMENAL. “weh it doesn’t feel like fargo mnehsnsn”. oh my god! you’re stupid. Like I can’t help but think it’s purely down to racism seeing as s4 has a large black cast. It has the tension! A wide range of characters with interesting motivations & relationships! A psycho bitch next door! A different protagonist archetype than the previous seasons who makes it fresh and new. GAETANO’S CRAZY EYES. c’mon. you’re missing out. but also fuck you bye #BLOCKED!!!

anyway. kisses to my fellow fargo lovers. all 2 of you lmao.

[ninawolv3rina]

They don't let shows build up for 4 seasons to get to their base level of "good" anymore...

[spaghett-onaplate]

i was in an op shop today and need you tonight by INXS started playing, i recognised it vaguely as a song that plays during a cool montage in a show i love; it took me a moment to place it as the 911 lone star pilot interview montage soundtrack then i ran off to find the friend who i watched 911 ls with

[ginaporterr]

thinking about seeing ricky&gina dating in s4,,, about to throw myself off a cliff

[jadeneppy]

Everytime i open Netflix wakfu is in my recommend n i have to stop myself from binging it in a single day

[that-dumbass-rabbit]

"A cat with a job"

Drawtectives Felix Gif! This is my son. Be nice to him

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Epic Buddie Fic Rec | February 17th-23rd 2025

I got braces put in last week - for the second time in my life mind you! - so it's been a pretty miserable week for me 🙃 so I started a 9-1-1 rewatch to cheer me up 😄 (and because I'm in 9-1-1 withdrawal, only 10 days to go!!!!)

I also want to rec a 9-1-1 rewatch podcast I've been listening to, Tales From the 118! They don't have a tumblr so I'll just link to their first episode. I've really been enjoying it!

Complete

love bite by Tizniz/ @tizniz (Werewolf Eddie, Established Buddie | 1,8K | Mature):

“It’s okay, Eddie.” Buck soothes, “This is okay. You’re allowed to give into these instincts. There’s nothing wrong with it. You can bite me all over if you want.”

just hold on until the sun comes up tomorrow by thelikesofus/ @thelikesofus (Post-S4E14: Survivors | 2K | Teen):

“Buck,” Eddie says Buck’s name like a promise, like a prayer. “You're having nightmares and I'm not sleeping. If we're both going to be awake all night we might as well be awake together.” OR Why should either of them have to face the darkness alone when they have each other?

Love Language by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Post-S8A, Getting Together | 4K | Teen):

When Eddie reluctantly reveals he can speak Swedish, Buck ends up learning a lot more about him than he bargained for.

i wanna feel you from the inside by shortndiaz (Vampire Buck, PWP, S3 | 4K | Explicit):

Starts with ‘wanna go for the title?’ and ends in some blood and sex

Eddie 2.0 by bellabrady (Eddie Moves to Texas | 5K | Not Rated):

Or: After Eddie moves to Texas, Buck adopts a stray cat and names it Eddie.

🔥 The Great Valentine's Day Debacle of 2025 by giselleslash/ @gigi-gigi (Valentine's Day, Getting Together | 5K | General):

Eddie books a couples Valentine’s Day weekend for him and Buck. Except they’re not together. Eddie is an idiot.

tell me that you'll never let me go by farfromthstars/ @farfromthstars (Eddie Goes To Texas, Getting Together | 5K | Teen):

From the apartment, he calls Buck, who picks up after two rings. “Hey, did you make it okay?” Eddie leans back against the pillows on his bed and closes his eyes, wishing he was at home on his couch with Buck next to him. Or that Buck was here with him, at least. “Yeah, just got back from my parents’, actually.” “How’d it go?” Buck asks. His voice is warm, even through the phone. “Did Chris talk to you?” “A little bit,” Eddie says, and allows himself a smile. “Buck, he– he hugged me and told me he missed me. Of course, then he remembered that he was mad at me, but for a minute–” “That’s– that’s awesome, Eddie,” Buck says. “Hey, uh, I gotta run, but keep me posted, okay?” “Sure,” Eddie says, confused at being cut off so quickly. “What are you d–” But Buck has hung up already. ~ Eddie goes to Texas. Buck is being weird. It only takes them both five days to crack.

this life that we make by farfromthstars/ @doeeyeseddie (Post-S8E8: Wannabes | 5K | Teen):

Eddie stares at his bottle of beer and grits his teeth. He has to go, he knows it’s the right thing. He’s going to go. Why does he want Buck to ask him to stay so badly? “Why did you never ask me to stay?” Buck makes a sound, a mix of a hiss and a hiccup, and when Eddie turns to look at him, he suddenly looks as if he’s in pain. “Eddie, I–,” Buck rubs his hands on his thighs. “Did you want me to?” “I want you to be honest with me,” Eddie says. “And I guess I hope you’re not actually this…unbothered by my leaving.”

🔥TRUST! by pairofraggedclaws (PWP, Quarantine | 8K | Explicit):

“I get used to it, I guess. Kind of. After a while,” Eddie says. Then, very quietly, “I’m just, uh, sensitive.” “Oh,” Buck says. Eddie's just sensitive. Eddie, his best friend, who he has now seen when he comes. Who comes in under a minute if he isn’t getting some on the regs. This is – this is – interesting. * Love and premature ejaculation.

Good Job! by pretty_boy_buckley (Post-S8A, Getting Together | 8K | Mature):

Buck begins giving Eddie little star stickers to encourage him, Eddie really loves them

I don't wanna miss you like this by rainbow_nerds/ @rainbow-nerdss (Eddie Moves To Texas, Love Letters | 9K | Teen):

Once he was home—or, as Chris puts it, back in his stupid, shitty apartment, he sat down, poured himself a drink—then another, once he downed the first—took out his laptop, and started to type. It was surprisingly easy, once the alcohol hit his bloodstream, to write it out. To put himself in the mindset of someone who loved Buck and couldn’t keep it inside anymore. Eddie Diaz was living in El Paso—miles away from his best friend who needed him, struggling to cross the invisible distance his son was keeping from him. There was no quick fix for either—but he was working on it. And in the meantime, he could do something to help Buck feel better from afar.

I lose my feet in my father's shoes by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Post-S8A, Chris Coming Home | 12K | Teen):

Just as Eddie is planning to move to El Paso, Chris gets into a fight at school, and Helena and Ramon decide they've had enough, sending Chris home.

The Pieces of You (I Carry With Me) by Kwills91/ @kwills91 (Post-S8E8: Wannabes, Getting Together | 12K | Teen):

Eddie makes Buck a baby box and chickens out of giving it to him, leaving it in his closet for years and trying his hardest to forget about it, and what it might mean. Until Buck is helping Eddie pack for his move to El Paso and happens to find it.

disappearing into the distance by bucksclipboard/ @endofthedaymp3 (Eddie Comes Back From Texas, Getting Together | 16K | Teen):

Eddie wasn’t sure why he and Maddie weren’t close. It was strange, considering her little brother was the most important person in his life. Still, when the door opened, tight hugs were exchanged and cheerful welcome homes rang in his ears. “Does Bobby know? I gotta call Bobby!”, Chimney yelled. “Could you wait a minute?”, Eddie interjected. His eyes darted between them for a moment and landed on Chim, deciding he was his best bet. “Maybe first explain to me why I went to see Buck and his loft was empty. Am I missing something? Did he move?” or: eddie comes back from texas – only to find that buck has left los angeles

WIP

🔥 Gentle On My Mind by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, Shannon Lives, Buck/Eddie/Shannon | 16/? | 96K | Explicit):

In which Shannon lives, tells a lie, and sends hers, Eddie's, and Buck's lives down a very different path

🔥 Doe & a Drop of Golden Sun by ohstars/ @oh-stars (Canon Divergent, Dad Buck | 13? | 58K | Teen):

Buck doesn't mean to keep secrets from everyone, but he also can't talk about the pain he experiences on a day to day basis. With his nine-year-old living across the country and his custody limited to one monthly visit, Buck doesn't know how to share this part of himself. How does he tell his team of six years that he's had a kid this whole time? How does he tell his sister? How does he tell his Edd-- best friend? It's fine. The universe isn't going to give him a choice in the matter when the worst thing imaginable becomes his reality.

Podfic

🔥 [Podfic] Paralytic Narcolepsy Guy Hates Buckley & Diaz by oRóisín (oKathleen) // fic by eightpackdiaz (Outsider POV, Canon, Getting Together | 30-45min | Teen):

Paralytic Narcolepsy Guy is forced to listen to Buckley and Diaz talk to and about each other in his unconscious presence over the years. He insists he fucking hates them. But then he also accidentally helps them get engaged.

[linghxr]

Why you should watch 乘风破浪 and 披荆斩棘 to learn Chinese

What are these shows?

Both 披荆斩棘 and 乘风破浪 follow the same basic format: 30+ celebrity contestants, mostly actors and singers ages 30+, form teams and compete in singing and dancing over several rounds. Viewers vote on their favorite performances and contestants, and 1-3 contestants are eliminated each round. The top contestants form a temporary "group" and appear on a follow-up reality show.

Why you should watch

1. Exposure to different accents

Contestants come from all over the Chinese-speaking world: Dongbei, Sichuan, Taiwan, Hong Kong, and even Malaysia. I can personally say that watching these shows has vastly improved my ability to understand the Hong Kong Mandarin accent.

2. Pop culture knowledge

Because the contestants are celebrities, you'll be introduced to dozens of famous actors, singers, etc. Also, you'll hear the many iconic songs that they cover. I've impressed several native speakers with my with knowledge of pop culture and music.

3. Branch out to new media

These shows serve as a gateway to Chinese music, movies, and TV. if you really like the contestants who are actors, you can check out their shows and movies. If you enjoy a certain song or like a contestant who's a singer, you can explore more music.

4. Casual and formal registers

You’ll get to hear casual, unscripted speech while watching the behind-the-scenes and rehearsal clips. But you’ll also get to hear more formal speech when they’re announcing rules and also from the MC who hosts the actual live performances.

5. Incredible talent

Also, you should watch for the awesome performances and general fun. I love seeing the contestants' friendships, and I’m also obsessed with the amazing sets. There are some incredibly talented performers on these shows, and I love getting to see them shine.

Where to watch

All seasons are free to watch on YouTube! Sometimes clips may be muted or missing, probably due to YouTube's restrictions. But the vast, vast majority is available, and when a clip is missing, you can usually do a separate search and find it. I also pay for a Mango TV subscription, which is $1.99 USD/month.

乘风破浪 full episode playlist links:

乘风破浪的姐姐1

乘风破浪的姐姐2

乘风破浪3

乘风2023

乘风2024

披荆斩棘 full episode playlist links:

披荆斩棘的哥哥1

披荆斩棘2

披荆斩棘3

披荆斩棘4

To help you get started, below is a YouTube playlist of my some of my favorite performances (5 per season, except for the most recent season of each). Cause why not! Also, below the cut I'll put more details along with direct links to my favorite performances.

And if you're a fellow fan emotionally preparing for the 披荆斩棘4 finale 🥲, feel free to message me and commiserate!

See similar posts: I watched all the Chinese idol survival shows so you don’t have to (but you should anyway) Tips for finding Chinese-language media you like

Sisters Who Make Waves

Chinese title: 乘风破浪的姐姐 (S1-2) / 乘风破浪 (S3) / 乘风 (S4-5) English title: Sisters Who Make Waves (S1-3) / Ride the Wind (S4-5) *I call it Sisters for short

This series is the original, having started in 2020. The focus was on female empowerment, particularly of women 30+. A lot of the celebrities had slowed down in their careers, and the show served as their reintroduction to audiences. While female empowerment is still a theme today, I do feel it has lessened in prominence.

Season 1

The original, iconic season. You can tell they had a limited budget and not a ton of space, but it doesn't detract at all thanks to the incredible talent and energy of the contestants. And they had no idea what a phenomenon the show was going to be! Many of my most rewatched performances come from the season.

得不到的爱情

大碗宽面

相爱后动物感伤

FLOW

新物种

Season 2

This season has a special place in my heart as the first one I watched! It's the only one I've seen twice (when it originally aired and rewatched with friends). Compared to season 1, you can definitely tell they had a bigger budget and started to refine the format. Also, some of my all-time favorite contestants are from this season.

现在不跳舞要干嘛

归零

快乐宝贝

给自己的歌

我

Season 3

This season was the first with the show's "modern" and fully-developed format, which remains to this day. For example, they started to include more complex sets and recruited more diverse contestants, such as dancers, an athlete, etc. Also, my favorite performance of the entire series, 雾里, is from this season.

雾里

梦中人

山海

孤独颂歌

有吗炒面

Season 4

This season was the first time I felt there wasn’t improvement over the previous season. I think the stage design took a step backward, and I didn't love the international focus. It was hard to identify my favorite performances because I didn't feel strongly about many. That being said, my friends and I still enjoyed this season.

从头

千里万里

下个，路口，见

归途有风

I'm Not Yours

Season 5

Though this season has already ended, I'm not done yet. I watch with friends, so we move at a slower pace. So far, it seems largely in line with season 4. I'll update this post after we finish.

Call Me By Fire

Chinese title: 披荆斩棘的哥哥 (S1) / 披荆斩棘 (S2-3) English title: Call Me By Fire *I call it Brothers as a nickname

A show about female empowerment gets a male spin off? Out of skepticism, I did not plan to check out this show when it premiered in 2021 (after Sisters S2). But at some point I changed my mind, mostly because I had to run out of other shows. Little did I know I would arguably become a more devoted fan of this show than the original!

Season 1

This season had too many iconic performances to count, and in particular, the Hong Kong contestants really took the world by storm. Due to scandals, they edited out 2 contestants (Huo Zun and Li Yundi), which admittedly does make for an awkward viewing experience at times, but you should totally watch anyway.

凄美地

MMA

飞云之下

达拉崩吧

如果还有明天

Season 2

Looking back, season 2 did not have as many stand out performances as season 1, but it does boast my favorite performances of the entire series, 新地球. It also features a fantastic group of contestants, probably my favorite overall cohort of the show.

新地球

袖手旁观

私人生活

理想

凤毛麟角

Season 3

This was the first season to air after I started watching, though I didn't watch it live because I was still on season 2. While it's probably impossible to top the iconic status of season 1, I think season 3 was an improvement over season 2 in terms of memorable performances. We also got the iconic 0713 (2007快乐男声全国13强) contestants.

行走的鱼

爱人错过

Joker

走麦田

有没有一首歌会让你想起我

Season 4

This season is sadly coming to an end, although I have not started the finale yet. I'll start this weekend and update this post in the future after I've had some time to gather my thoughts.

Now I have to go finish 披荆斩棘4 episode 11 so I can watch the finale. Bye!!!

[startrekmemequeen]

Personally i don't care about the song but damn YES!!!

HDYWTDT on Ripley is my favourite HDYWTDT of all the campaign 1. It's such a good scene, it's so emotional, it's fucking CINEMATIC, i wanna talk about it forever, i was so excited to see it in the show!!! I was thinking they might change it to make it even more epic but they just fucking cut it out 😭💔

It's my roman empire. Typically when they score a kill on a major villain they all cheer, they're all excited but when they killed Ripley... no one was smiling. No one was cheering and yelling in excitement. The table was so eerily quiet. They were dead serious. And the way they described killing her... damn, that was so cruel. Every character did their absolute best to kill Ripley in the most painful way possible. Not a hint of compassion. No mercy. And personally i think it's pretty damn poetic that they did something like that for Percy, who's 1) is known for being cruel in a fight 2) was literally tortured by this woman. They literally said "it's Percy killing you right now" and they made sure it felt exactly like that.

And it's also a special moment because it perfectly describes them as a group. Scanlan said it. "It's okay, you can curse. You killed one of us." (Also can we talk about Sam's acting and his choice as a player here? This is a reminder of just how much Scanlan is willing to do for his friends. He said it himself, he's a bard not a warrior, yet if you touch his family... well bro prepare to die). And Matt said it: "Vox Machina, how do you want to do this?" And they all gathered together and performed this exceptionally brutal execution, there was no planning no anything, they were in perfect synch in that moment. Even though Vex got the honour of the final blow, it wasn't just her killing Anna. It was all of them. It was Vox Machina. And because of that, it was Percy too. It was the most horrifyingly beautiful thing i've ever witnessed.

the sad thing about 'It's not how it's supposed to end' song in s3e7 of TLOVM is that I want to love it ironically. I think it's so bafflingly badly written, and so jarring tonally. The lyrics 'She ran to him, and HE WAS GONE' is so fucking funny man.

But I can't meme it. Because it's a bad song in a bad show. Every time I think about it, it sucks. I just think about the shot of RIpley sailing away, how the group kill was taken away to focus in on the romance. How Keyleth, Vax and Grog just stand there like :( in the background, how it doesn't compare at all to the campaign's emotion and that's just seven people round a table, man. This is animation and they just went for the most boring way to do Percy's death and then slapped a stupid song over the top.

It needed to be a bad song in a good show for me to love it. It's just a bad song in a bad show. So I can't even meme it, and that's just tragic really.

[somedayillbepeterpan]

Ahh, Luke. Lukey. Newts.

Have some laughing Lukey pookie, everyone.

For Bonus Polinweek Day 6 | Double date + Luke appreciation Day | Bridgerton BTS videos in Shondaland youtube channel

This man. THIS MAN ❤️

For as long as Colin Bridgerton has plagued my mind (since June 13) so too has this man.

Let me start this appreciation by saying an apology for ignoring Luke Newton for a very long time. And also for doubting him before the S3 release. I have been sleeping on (and most likely blinded by Nicola) that I never noticed this beautiful, talented man who, if not for him, the Polin story wouldn't have had the magic that it profoundly has.

Along with rewatching S3, I'm also rewatching S1 and S2 to fully catch the brilliant performance that Luke has been displaying as Colin Bridgerton. Truly, S3 has made me confront my personal biases and it made me realise how I was projecting my own ideas of what a man should be like on Colin Bridgerton when he is a distinct character in his own right. A lot of what makes Colin such an interesting character for me is how subtle Luke plays him.

There are this tiny inflections in the way Colin talks that is so particularly him. Even the way Colin moves/walks and his mannerisms changes from each season. The ground work Luke put in on Season 1, where Colin is particularly charming and naive, paved the way for this realistic (at times, heart wrenching) maturing that Colin goes through after learning that Pen is LW in S3 giving the Polin love story this weight of authenticity that we have not seen on Bridgerton.

Luke made Colin, a privileged, white man, so endearing that we feel that we are robbed of what Colin's character could have been in his own season (I have a counter-argument on this topic but I'll focus on Luke Newton). He may not be as talkative as Nicola but I think one of his nerdy alter-egos is one who loves to deep dive into character work and that is why him and Nicola get along so well.

I am a forever fan and I've put him on my list of actors that I have followed since their breakout roles (like Josh Hutcherson and Tom Holland). I do hope that he gets to build a strong screen portfolio (I remember he said that he loves doing screens more compared to live performances as he loves the subtleties of the screens). But I'll manifest a Broadway musical for him just so I can hear him sing again.

To Luke Newton, thank you for giving and sacrificing yourself for the past 5 years for Bridgerton. I hope you are surrounded by good people who will equally push you and ground you.

I hope you get all the best chances the industry that you love has to offer because you deserve to continue waking up being thankful that you get to act for a living 🥰

[miss-musings]

I love everyone’s HCs about how Echo and Crosshair would or wouldn’t get along, but I HATE that we know next to nothing about their dynamic in TBB.

(We get a few crumbs in TCW Season 7, but I don’t think that should count.)

In rewatching The Bad Batch S1 recently, it’s weird how Echo *never* comments about Crosshair being mind-controlled by the Empire.

Wouldn’t he be able to sympathize with Crosshair? Wouldn’t he of all people push to rescue him, just like he pushes Hunter & co to rescue Gregor?

And how come they rarely interact in S3 when they have more in common than ever? 🧐

Crosshair is Echo’s “Evil Counterpart” according to TV Tropes.

They both act as the Lancer within the Five-Man Band structure (although at different points in the show), and they both serve as Hunter’s co-parent to Omega and un/official second-in-command for the squad.

We really should’ve gotten something — anything — between these two in TBB. 😪

A real missed opportunity.

(PS, I also posted this on my Twitter. So sorry for any repetition across platforms.)

[thefandombringer]

Season 3 Milkvan is not nearly as cute as I remembered it being 4 years ago

So I’m rewatching s3 for the first time in a hot minute because I remembered that being the most milkvan heavy season but what I’ve realized in this rewatch is that there is not a single scene between Mike and El where Mike does not have to put up some sort of facade. We see a lot of Mike’s genuine character in the first two seasons, especially when he is happy (playing D&D with the party, spending time with his friends and Will) so we as an audience can tell that all the times where Mike appears happy in season 3—especially in scenes with El—are NOT Mike’s genuine personality.

Im not sure quite how to explain it, but the main scenes that come to mind are the opening scene with them making out in El’s bedroom, Mike’s phone call to El when he lies about his Nana, and the scene in the pool with that human dummy thing. Two of these are scenes where Mike is supposedly happy and joking around with El, but they have a very superficial vibe to them—which will be the first . I’m pretty sure that anyone can clock those moments if they watch those on their own but, as someone that does a lot of acting, mannerism and vocal inflection shifts are key when playing different characters. The way Mike holds himself and delivers his lines do not feel like the same Mike that we grew to know and love in the earlier seasons and, since Finn is obviously not a terrible actor (he is, in fact, quite a good actor), we as the audience are meant to realize that Mike is not being his true self or, in other words, playing another character. He can’t be his genuine self around El (which is also demonstrated very very clearly in season 4 but this shows that these issues did not come out of nowhere), which heavily contrasts the other significant relationships in the show, especially throughout season 3 (Jancy, Jopper, Lumax) who are their authentic selves with each other and are able to bicker and match each other’s energies while still very clearly loving each other. Milkvan is not like them, and not in a good way.

The second portion of this (and why I mentioned the phone call scene) is the fact that Mike talks to her like he has to dumb himself down/like she is much younger and unable to understand how he would talk to her normally. I really don’t has a way to describe this other than just recommending that you watch those scenes again to see what I mean. It’s obvious that he cares about her and really does enjoy talking to her, but in a way that I would talk to my younger siblings/cousins. Is this how a healthy relationship should seem? I certainly hope not. This is doubled by the fact where in that one interview (I have no idea where to find it so if someone has it please link it!!) Finn says that when he first met El, it was like taking in an alien like in ET. Again, not very romantic. It is also explicitly shown that this is not how everyone talks to El, so it’s not like she can’t understand the standard level of conversation. Such a big emphasis on El and Max’s friendship and the fact that Max treats El as an equal and helps her find her own personality instead of babying El and keeping her sheltered and controlled. She can be treated like a regular person and is so much better for it. She’s not you pet, Michael.

Notice how both of these major problems are never found between Mike and Will. All of their conversations and interactions within the show are 100% genuine and authentic and never feel superficial or forced. Their relationship is also taken much more seriously throughout the whole show when contrasted to Milkvan, but that’s a whole separate post. Mike and Will’s fights are serious and real, while Mike and El’s (with the exception of the “From Mike” fight, which is pretty telling) are comedic and surface level and played for laughs.

BYLER ENDGAME BYLER ENDGAME

[cameronspecial]

I was recently rewatching OBX S3 and realized we never saw Rafe’s reaction to Ward dying. So my request for you is to write a Rafe x reader where the reader was there when Ward died and had to tell him. They already had a sort of close relationship. Childhood friends/friend’s brother type idk. Anyway, thanks <3

Dead Dad Club

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of Dead Dads

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 0.6K

Masterlist

Y/N couldn’t believe it happened. She never thought that when her best friend, the Pogues and she went to South America, she would watch her best friend and ex-boyfriend’s father die to protect them. However, that’s how she finds herself in front of Tannyhill, which now, belongs to Rafe because of the un-fake version of Ward’s death. She should be the one to tell him; she has to be the one to tell him. Because after everything he has done, she is the only one (other than Wheezie, who even though she loves him, favours Sarah) who holds any love for him. She knows he beat up Shrieff Peterkin and hurt Sarah, but she can still see the Rafe she used to love and she knows he still loves her. He made it clear when he did everything to protect her during her and the Pogues' escape from the cargo ship. 

Her knock sounds hollow as her heartbeat blasts in her ear. She sees his figure through the glass door. She’ll never get used to his shaved head. His mouth puckers at the sight of her and he shifts to the side to see behind her. “When did you get back? Is my dad with you?” She grimaces, “That’s what I came here to talk to you about. Let’s  go to the living room.” He nods, holding her by the fingertips as he leads her to the couch. They sit and turn to face each other. Their knees graze. She bites her lower lip to keep her tears in. He needs her to be strong right now. “Pumpkin, where is my dad?” She lets out a breath and the words spill out of her. “Your dad died in Venezuela. He ran towards a man trying to shoot Sarah and fell off a cliff.” Rafe freezes and his face whitens. The room grows quiet. “No,” he whispers. “No. No. No.” His voice begins to rise and he stands up to pass around the room. He whips toward her with a finger pointed at her and tears streaming down his face. “YOU ARE LYING. HE ISN’T DEAD. WHY ARE YOU LYING?” The sight of him breaks the dam holding back her own tears.

She cries, “I’m not, Baby, I’m not. I’m so sorry, but I saw his body with my own eyes. He goes through the first two stages of grief and goes right into bargaining. “If I had been there, I could’ve saved him. I should’ve taken him. I should’ve been there. God, please, I’ll do anything for this to be a lie.” He breaks down right before her and she rushes as he collapses into her arms. She drops to the floor with him, resting his head on her chest. “I know. I’m sorry, Baby. I wish I could say that I am lying,” she whispers to him, kissing his temple. His breathing begins to even out as he starts to remember the last time they talked before he dropped his dad off at the private jet. He wouldn’t leave the cross for her and he pointed a gun at her friends. 

“Why are you here? Why are you the one telling me this?” he questions. He looks up at her and she smooths down the hair at his nape. She kisses his forehead, “You were there for me when my dad died, so it’s my turn to be there for you. Plus, you deserve to have someone who loves you around right now.” He shows his gratitude by dropping his head into her chest and kissing the spot between her collarbones. For the rest of the afternoon, they helped each other grieve.

Taglist: @winterrrnight @loves0phelia @thelomlisrafecameron @wickedlovely121 @thepatriarchykeychain @drewsmusee @starkowswife @maybankslover @forstarkey @loving-and-dreaming @magicalyoura @rubixgsworld

[pastafossa]

Hi pasta!! What's Jane up to lately? Not like, in the fic but just....banging around in your brain? My characters hang around my head sitcom style sometimes lol

Much love!!

jane is currently roosting on top of matt like a hen with a chick they are both quite happy

Kidding. sort of.

NO BUT FOR REAL, mine do that too! Now and then over the years the scenery has changed (since I started TRT though, my internal headspace where the characters hang out looks suspiciously like Matt's apartment), but the space is always kinda... there for them, and that includes Jane! Half the time she's providing running commentary - she's got a lot to say about the Daredevil rewatch me and @sunflowersandsapphires are going through before Born Again, especially now that we're in S3 which we haven't reached yet in TRT. Like,

Me: (watching the FBI break into Matt's apartment without any difficulty whatsoever) Jane, sipping her coffee and turning the page of her book: Good fucking luck doing that to our door. They'll be lucky to break in before dinner.

Sometimes she's also just reading up there. Probably the Odyssey at present, since all my listening to Epic has reminded her of when her and Ciro were bulldozing through classics together. She also has been watching in amusement as Matt tries yet again to keep other characters out so that I can't write about them or be distracted (Matt at present is grumpily barricading the door to prevent Jack Reacher from getting in, Jane's not helping but she's not stopping him either).

Me to Jane, as Matt drags his wardrobe in front of the front door: why aren't you stopping him??? Jane, leaning against the wall as she watches Matt: he needs enrichment, it's good for him. Me, watching Matt pacing as he watches for any attempts to open he door: I thought you were supposed to be his enrichment. Jane, innocently: he's high energy, he needed more. Also he looks good moving the furniture. Matt: I can hear you both. Jack Reacher, muffled through the door: so can I. Matt, growling: Go away. Michael Kinsella, on the couch with the assigned book for the book club he and Jane started even though there's only two of them in it: has he tried the skylight? We could use a third for the book club. Jane, as Matt drags a long bench down the hall to wedge it against the wardrobe: I thought Bucky was the third, we were going to read Lord of the Rings. Michael: Matt told Bucky there was a stray cat outside, then when Bucky went out to look for it, Matt locked the door. Me: ...we should read Lord of the Rings though, it's been a while.

The oddest part though is when she just comes in with random fucking lore. So like, I'll be doing something unrelated and she'll come strolling into the mental apartment with a mug of coffee and drop shit on me. The most recent one was during this past week. We've gotten a ton of snow, and I was standing at my window watching a snowplow drive by. And Jane just sips her coffee and goes,

"I was a snowplow driver for a single winter. Then I hit a bull moose, got it stuck in the windshield and everything. Swear to god, I was nose-to-nose with that fucker, his antlers on either side of me like an open bear trap. Not sure who was more confused about the whole thing. I thought about sticking around but the amount of insurance paperwork I'd have had to fill out would have been a nightmare. It was easier to just change identities again. So I squeezed out under the antlers, left the moose there with the running truck, hitchhiked home, got my bag, and moved to Houston. Last I heard the moose was fine, though, and left to do moose things, so that's something."

In reality, though, she's very chill. Her and I have been doing this for about... (does math) 8 years or so, so we're comfortable. The only time she really fights me is if I'm writing and she does not think what's happening is the way it should go. But that's rare!